NATURAL KIND OR IS IT TRIAL AND ERROR.
WOW Time has flown by.
It has been some time since I have blogged and I saw this as I was teaching myself how to use the different options to google docs etc.
Since my last post when I was studying, I have been busy leaving one job (Playgroup Facilitator with Eastbay REAP) and starting a new one Junior Class Teacher at SDA Whakatane School.
It has been a very trying and tiring process. I still do not feel I belong there because I am not a baptised member of the SDA church. So my position there is uncertain and I am hanging on a post. And relationships with staff have been so testing because we had so many deaths last year amongest the staff I never felt so exhausted but also very happy for myself to at long last have a full time teaching job.
On reflection I am so grateful for all the amazing day to day things I have in my life and one of them is having a purposeful job.
I know that there isan't anything to worry about however occasionally things will happen at work which brings up uncertainty and makes me insecure, doubtful and loose confidence and faith that God has got my back.
When I don't trust that my interests and job security is handled properly I loose an enormous amount of courage and self belief that everything is going along well.
I am doing OK and not letting other peoples pressures and negativity become part of me. I am such an empathetic person and take on board unwittingly their stuff it clouds my mind, I so need to be aware of this otherwise by energy and mental and physical well-being suffers.
I appreciate other peoples support and help but it is how it is put to me that irritates me. That I am not doing my job properly and then I start thinking that my boss is looking at a way of getting rid of me.etc
It is still an long way to go till I feel I have a permanent place and my trust in God and relationship with him is always on hold and or my future is still uncertain.
I have a class of 22 children at the moment age range from 5-8 years and this is very challenging and sometimes awkward to manage and organise.
So every bit of help I can get, is a blessing.
So on that note I am going to leave it there and get back to what really enjoy, listening and singing my songs. Music and art is a refuge and huge release for me love, love, love. Oh and not forgetting just watching TV or You-tube videos.
Ka kite ano.
PS. My emotional maturity and how I cope with stress has been tested at times. The power of pray has helped me.
No comments:
Post a Comment